A Pause

Kelly  |  July 27

Lots of changes have been going on and I’ve been quite a busy lady, but not necessarily in a good way… Honestly, I’m a little burnt out, or rather a lot burnt out. I’ve been transitioning to making more content for the blog (I really want it to be more like a magazine than a blog), stepping away from doing many events (because honestly I can’t do it anymore), pulling in new sponsors for the blog and just trying to make it all work… Even though most days it feels like its NEVER going to work.

Meg’s article on Entrepreneurship: Change & Growth really hit home for me. Its true, every day you run a business it constantly evolves and changes and somedays all I crave is a steady, boring, routine. While its exciting to be working on projects with some of the best in the business, that doesn’t necessarily pay my bills and it comes to a point where you start to wonder whether the art I’m creating is worth it, does it give any value to the world? Is the creation of something pretty worth the stress and heartache it causes me?

In a lot of ways, I’m sick of being an entrepreneur, sick of trying to make decisions, figuring out what to do, how to grow the blog, how to gain readership, how to make sure this week’s flower post gets more repins, seeing how many comments this post got, it all adds up to feeling like I’m constantly not good enough, that everyone is ahead of me, that everyone has more twitter followers and more “likes” on Facebook. And honestly, I’m sick of it. Life is not meant to be measured by meaningless social media stats, page views, and comments. I struggle everyday to not fall into this trap but its really, really, hard.

Even now, as I write this, I start to think, will anyone care? Will this post get tweeted and re-tweeted or become part of a “Weekend Link”? It is such a sick and vicious cycle and some days I just want out. Some day I want to just pull the plug, find a 9-5 job and call it a day. No more tweeting, facebooking, submitting to wedding gawker, blah blah blah, just silence.

But I know if I did that, I would label myself a failure because my dream and all my hard work didn’t amount to anything. Everyone wants to have a successful blog that makes money and for some reason some blogs get there and some don’t. But, its the why that kills me. Why are some blogs successful and other aren’t? Is it just luck? Timing? I think I produce good content, and provide something beautiful in a world where that can be hard to find, but at the end of the day that doesn’t mean my page views are where I want them to be. So then I think, what am I’m doing wrong? Or am I simply not good enough?


21 Comments »

  1. a very personal blog today. Because I’m struggling folks. Struggling. http://t.co/HcKwfPmg

    Comment by @KellyOshiro — July 27, 2012 @ 1:16 pm

  2. I so, so, so understand this. It’s an easy cycle to get into, especially with work that’s creative and that you pour your soul into. I do the same thing, over and over. There are such highs and lows that come with the “artistpreneur” type of businesses and blogs.

    At some point, I always try to tell myself to get back to why I do this. What I would do and create if no one else was reading/looking at it but me. Because external validation only goes so far in the end, as tough as that is to remember.

    Comment by Anni — July 27, 2012 @ 1:19 pm

  3. Girl…I totally understand and in many ways can relate. Hang in there! xoxo

    Comment by Cynthia — July 27, 2012 @ 1:33 pm

  4. New post: A Pause http://t.co/tX56ja4i

    Comment by @KellyOshiro — July 27, 2012 @ 1:34 pm

  5. GIRL! I LOVE reading your blog and all the little goodies you put into it- now I feel like I have let you down!! I rarely retweet or repost, I just ENJOY what you do…

    I hope you can step back for a few, re-group and find a new goal to motivate you to make yourself happy with the tools you have and stop the “competition” part of it- YOU WILL NEVER WIN MOST LIKES. Why try?

    You have a wonderful gift- find the spot that allows you to share it and make money. GOOD LUCK FINDING IT!!!!!!

    PS- my daughter lives for your shoe posts….she is 9 and thinks you have the best job in the world- keep impressing her- she is your future!

    Comment by Christine! — July 27, 2012 @ 1:49 pm

  6. Gosh, I guess I have been following you for over three years now. Right around the time I was planning my own wedding. I had just discovered blogs and was hooked. I guess know, that to me, you have ALWAYS looked like the success story. A fabulous blog read by so so many, a wedding planner, and even living in Santa Barbara! The place I would love to live! This isn’t to say that you can’t be sad or not content at all, because you are allowed that for sure. But I just thought you should know, that where you are at is where I only WISH I could be. You are doing a fabulous job!

    Comment by Bianca — July 27, 2012 @ 1:51 pm

  7. it’s about more than the comments, retweets and likes on facebook. it’s hard to get out of the trap but it is possible. just know you are inspiring others on a daily basis. most people don’t leave comments, they just pass by. but you touch every single one of them. if you ever need help out of the trap feel free to reach out. i think you rule, so you can know that in your back pocket when you need it :)

    Comment by jacin — July 27, 2012 @ 1:51 pm

  8. I care! I care! I can relate, but always try to remind myself that helping or inspiring one person is as great as hundreds. Of course, I understand having to Mae a living. Hang in there, follow your passion, continue your hard work, and there will be light at the end of the tunnel.

    And make sure to take/make time for yourself. You deserve it!

    Comment by Kaella Wilson — July 27, 2012 @ 2:05 pm

  9. You’re amazing Kelly and I adore your blog! Always so classy and pretty. So excited to have you creating wonderful details for my wedding. Vendors always comment about how talented you are:))) keep up the great work!

    Comment by Evie Nikolaou — July 27, 2012 @ 6:03 pm

  10. I remember when you started this blog and to be honest I didn’t know what a blog was( embarrassing I know). But I read your blog everyday and I have never left a comment till today because I thought it really didn’t count that much because, I was just your sister and of course everything you every wrote about or posted was amazing. But you have never ceased to amaze me at your creativity, ambition and all around bad assness that I could never even imagine to conger up. I wish I had half the ambition you do. I wish I had a goal like you have. I wish I was half a creative as you are. You made my wedding amazing and I can never thank you enough for that. I care and I think what you produce is of the highest quality.X

    Comment by tracy — July 27, 2012 @ 6:25 pm

  11. I don’t look at your blog too often, but when I do I am consistently amazed at your outstanding ability and your immense creativity. Your talent shines through, and yet you give so much credit to others, as if you weren’t wholly responsible for everything you publish. The comments you received today are so heartfelt and real. Everyone gets down at times, but you are truly gifted and all of your readership sees this, on every page and with every picture. I agree that “what you produce is of the highest quality.” While it is very tough to generate all that is needed for success in your business, clearly you reach many people, and more importantly, you touch them deeply. I am immensely proud of you Kelly.

    Comment by Mr. — July 27, 2012 @ 8:37 pm

  12. keep doing what you do! it’s beautiful and i love seeing the pretty and inspiring images! after a long, tough day in my 9-5 (well more like 9-8) office job, it’s so lovely to see pretty photos that take me away to another place! xo

    Comment by michelle — July 29, 2012 @ 1:50 pm

  13. Kelly, you were one of Martha Stewart’s bloggers of the year- you got to meet her- one of your idols, on your own steam. You innovated up in Santa Barbara and now people twenty years your senior in business and life are copying your ideas on how to wedding plan. You know my story. You know all the other stories of everyone else who has strived to realize an improbable dream. You not only can do it. You are doing it. And in a sense, you have already done it. Sometimes a break is good. In that break though take some time to reflect and rejoice on your accomplishments because they might be the exact refueling stations you need to get the rest of the way. Love ya! P.S. You know you would never never be happy in a 9 to 5. Shoesday would keep calling to you;)

    Comment by Noel Arthur — July 30, 2012 @ 8:39 am

  14. I completely understand, Kelly. Especially when I am trying so hard to put my family first! Be encouraged. And thanks for your honesty in the struggle.

    Comment by Elisa B — July 30, 2012 @ 11:43 am

  15. You won’t be happier working for someone else. TRUST ME. I want out so badly. I admie you for being an employer for yourself. It’s funny because I wrote a similar post to this not even a week ago.

    http://www.peacelovedecor.com/2012/07/how-do-these-women-do-it.html

    I’m constantly feeling like I’m competing and there’s never any finish line. It’s stressful but you should do it for yourself (although this is something you and I both know but still write posts about). If you get a sec, I’d love to hear your thoughts on my latest blog posts.

    peacelovedecor.com

    Comment by Erin — July 30, 2012 @ 4:59 pm

  16. Whatever you decide, I want to thank you for your blog and your hard work. I’m a museum professional, currently living far away from home (Santa Barbara). I miss home like crazy and your blog keeps me feeling connected. Your curated design is inspirational and has often sparked design ideas when I’m planning museum events and exhibitions. I love my museum work, but am also currently in burn out mode. I wish you the best.

    Comment by Elizabeth S. — July 31, 2012 @ 2:42 pm

  17. Gosh, I never reply, or post to blogs, but I wanted to let you know how much I really love reading your blog. Its beautiful, aspirational, funny, informative and addictive. I’m from the UK, have no plans to ever marry, but I do love reading your blog and looking at your exceptionally gorgeous photos. I don’t re blog or tweet, as I don’t tweet or blog. Sorry you are feeling low about what you are doing. I wish I had some beautiful photos to make you feel better xxx

    Comment by Leeanne — August 1, 2012 @ 10:55 am

  18. I hope you take all these wonderful thoughts to heart. Few people have a clear vision of what they want. You do, and your amazing at it. It’s the inspiration and focus you have that makes what you do seem effortless, and of course it isn’t. Your heart and soul are in everything you do, and no social media stats etc. can ever equal that. Struggling seems to be a part of passion because it matters to you. You matter to me.

    Comment by Sharon — August 1, 2012 @ 1:12 pm

  19. Your blog is one of my favorites! You curate the content so well!

    Comment by Josh Gruetzmacher — August 3, 2012 @ 11:14 am

  20. Don’t give up! Your blog/work is so beautiful.

    I’m sure every entrepreneur/small business owner/etc. can understand these feelings. We certainly can! So many big, scary risks and frustrations can be involved. Have you ever read the book Ignore Everybody and 39 Other Keys to Creativity? Some of the humor and advise there may be a light for you right now. We hope to work with you in the future!

    Comment by Paul & Jewel Studios — August 3, 2012 @ 3:08 pm

  21. Kelly,I know you work very hard, are dedicated to your craft, and you are exceptional at what you produce. I envy you! Be patient, persistent, and follow what is inside your heart. Art & Design matters if it matters to you… And it matters to ME and a whole hell of a lot of other people out there in this world. Our world needs artists like you. You are an original content creator, outside-the-box thinker, and a clever creative make-it-happener! Do not let the facade of being “popular” in social media distract, discourage or undervalue what you do so well! You have your own creations to be proud of…..2 unique websites jam packed full of fantastic ideas and gorgeous heart & soul created masterpieces. Take your much needed break…..and then keep going. Later on, take another break because I know you’re going to need one! Keep your eye on the ball and go right back to doing what you were put on this earth to do… for all of us!

    Comment by Vanessa — August 8, 2012 @ 6:44 pm

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